This project has been a way for me to come to terms with my dead cat. I was about to go to bed when my dad sent a text to our family group chat saying, “Piko dah takde.” I remembered feeling his death was unfair because I had a full schedule the next day, so I had no time to mourn or be sad or at least take a moment to regain my composure. Instead, I got busier and busier. I never really said goodbye to my dear cat until this project came along.

 

In a way, this diary project is a celebration of my cat’s life. He was so vibrant and full of character. I thought of writing a parting poem as a coping mechanism, but I did not want to remember his life with sadness. Through this project, I get to relive moments when my cat was most alive. His undiminished spirit for living, then, give me the will to continue with my life as how he knows best.

 

Keeping this in the back of my mind, surprisingly, does not make writing the diary entries difficult. I was able to separate my emotions from assignments. This is when the quote from T.S. Eliot that I put on the landing page of my eportfolio comes to mind. I guess the quote paired with my connection to this project has been a central theme that I want to explore throughout the gateway class, which is to break away from my usual self, the academic-writing-and-scientific-report-writing-Alia to a writer who is more open to changes and other possibilities. I find that T.S. Eliot aptly describes that while experimenting with this goal, I have to constantly leave my ground and set afoot to places that are not me. But in the end, it all works out fine and I still have my ground. It is a bigger ground now.